Thank you Jinny, NewDawnFades.

I don't know what to turn to right now. I'm trying to take all of your words and use them for motivation. But I am finding this all a bit too much. I am feeling so much anger inside, I want to smash up everything in sight.

I feel sick, I cannot face the pills and drink, which I guess others will be glad of. I have no idea what I've eaten the past few days, so I might be feeling rough from that. I will see what tomorow brings. Probably the feeling of wishing I wasn't alive. The thoughts that I am putting up with life for everyone else, with no purpose. Who knows.