AlteredState01 Hi.

Yes the last visit to her pcychiatrist he said that she "may have BPD".She told me as such but dismissed this concept.But then again she dismisses the other diagnosis UNLESS its used
to keep me and others away.

If I ask too many questions & she gets stressed she will say
she cant cope becuz of her Anxiety Disorder.
However alot of the other times she can discuss not only her problems/feelings & mine as well.Very sensitively & in a realistic way.

I do feel she has a violent/verbal reaction to certain areas..
mainly around love/relationships/families.And generally everyone else is to blame for her stress.
Now, that is something I can relate to having been a huge 'blamer' in the past-specially to do with drugs & alcohol.

Let me back up a bit for a sec...
Yes, her head may be spinning-the doctor is trying to make sense of it with yet further diagnosis & possibly to change & enhance her medications.
The question is, how am I supposed to know
which part of her behaviour is 'normal' emotional difficulty
and which part part is to do with BPD & the rest.

How am I supposed to know when Im steping on thin ice
& we are both about to fall thru the ...?

This is the part that makes ME feel desperate..
And once again Ive seen her other friends feel the same.
I consider myself a really good listener-but I'm not passive,
i do nudge gently-she does come out with stuff she's told no-one before...but then WHOP! I get this huge back lash.

What would you prefer someone in my situation do..say nothing?
Engage?
Patience I have plenty of-but it IS a relationship-I have been hurt-
when Ive mentioned this to her-that in itself causes more back-lash..

Sorry for going on here...
and i do appreciate your thoughtful comments.

M
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AlteredState01 said:
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I'm just trying to seperate what BPD is as opposed to the other issues my friend has.

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Good luck with that!

I guess I could give a little more help than that to you:

Let's see...I believe the symptoms of BPD listed are fairly accurate, but as I have said many times, there are varying degrees of intensity of each symptom, and not every borderline experiences every symptom.

Also, there are some cross-over symptoms that occur when one suffers from more than one illness (meaning some of the same symptoms can occur with different illnesses).

As well, one illness can trigger symptoms of another illness, making it almost impossible to separate one from the other.

The " 'possibly' BPD" idea came from her doctor, right? Because with all those illnesses attributed to her, her head must be spinning.

I'm guessing her docs are still trying to figure out if she really does suffer from all of these, or just one or two. After all, many of these symptoms overlap as well, especially PTSD and Anxiety. They can also cause the lashing out you have described.

Please be as patient as you can. These extreme behaviours are usually the result of a trigger and a trigger could be something as simple as a word, or a picture or even a smell or a perceived look. It could be anything!

What I do know is that when I freak out like that, it generally has little to do with what is actually happening at the moment, and more to do with what has been brought up, emotionally, for me from the subject at hand.

Hope this makes some sense. Oh, yeah, making sense to others is extremely difficult, too.

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