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Originally Posted by UpDownAround
I went through several failed relationships. I was undiagnosed but it was obvious that something was not right when they got close and they bailed. My wife got me to go in for a diagnosis fairly early in the marriage and we were happy for a long time. She has soured on things in the last few years. We are still together but like roommates who don't share a room. Friends without benefits. Actually, I am not even sure she likes me all that much anymore. This story goes from upbeat to depressing in a hurry...
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Posted in a hurry earlier...
In my failed relationships, I see the bipolar pattern in retrospect. I was outgoing enough to approach women and make conversation when I was up. I still had the awkwardness, but it's an awkward situation to express interest in getting to know someone better. I still flamed out sometimes, okay often, but when hypomanic I shrugged it off and moved on. Starting to date someone and having things get more serious involves the passage of time and I wouldn't stay up for all that long. If I only dropped to the low grade sulk, I could usually manage to keep the relationship going for a while but it was often perceived as disinterest. If I fell into the abyss they ran like rabbits. I did not know that I was cycling up and down because of a MI; when I was depressed I would think she was not interested in me anymore causing me to be depressed when it was the other way around.
My wife was the first one to recognize the depression for what it was/is and stick with me through it. In retrospect, there were some early warning signs that we were making do but I ignored them because I feared this might be my only chance. I would be happy to continue making do, which is probably why I stick around. That and the kids.