I feel like killing someone. not just a metaphor to say im angry, i really feel like killing a person. i have visions of myself doing it. i'd stab someone in their back with a knife. a lot of stabs. a lot of blood. but finally free.

but yes, i am angry... at the world, at life, at parents, at everyone... mom and money are the biggest issues now. theres always something wrong with my mom and money is never enough.... but there are also work, brother, family friends, friends.... stupid drivers.... how angry they make me! and people and their bodies and body sounds ewww. im disgusted by bodies.

i keep drinking but not to the point of nausea anymore. i just enjoy the taste of it.... i need drugs.