I've been talking to some trans guys I know who've already gone through their transitions. I was really scared to at first. But it's getting easier. I have imposter syndrom about this, afraid they're all going to laugh at me or call me a fraud or something. Instead they share how it was almost exactly the same for them when they were where I'm at. One guy (who I met a number of years ago on a camping trip with the trans youth centre) works for the trans care organization in my province and is going to look into counsellors for me, ones that are affordable for people with low incomes. So I'm a bit hopeful about it.

What a roller-coaster this is.