thanks, yagr

i am and have been, really, just deeply wanting to connect the dots in my mind and make sense of my existence.. of who and what i am... and how to better all of this

i slip in and out and when i am "out" i dont really have the power to work on these things so i am trying to do some work and research now and just hoping to say some things and get some things out there that maybe someone else can chime in on and reply to that will make some sense of

its been a really hard year... i gotta do something, i gotta make changes, i gotta figure this out, next year cant be the same, its getting worse and i gotta get control over this before its too late