I went to my psychiatrist almost 2 weeks ago because I was slipping into depression so she started me on a low dose of imipramine. Tricyclics are known to not play well with bipolar disorder but she figured I’d be ok because I’m on other meds. I’m not technically on a mood stabilizer, but we have been using seroquel as a mood stabilizer for a while now.

Both my doc and the pharmacist warned me that it would make me drowsy. It does not. I wake up at 3 am. I wasn’t worried about mania because I was missing sleep but still felt tired, didn’t have racing thoughts, etc.

But in the past 24 hours, my anxiety has ramped up to the point that I feel like mania is on the way. My cat was sick the other day and I spoke to a vet and she turned out ok but if it happens again I don’t have money for a vet visit. I’ve been isolating ever since I started the imipramine because hiding and binge watching Netflix keeps me from thinking too much.

When I was a kid I used to have extreme anxiety about global events. I watched some tv special about the sun swallowing the earth when I was 12 and would lie awake at night expecting the world to end any minute. That’s how I’m feeling now. I’m waiting for my apartment to burn down or collapse or for there to be nuclear war or something.

This feels really bad, I was trying to convince myself I’m fine and just imagining it but I’m not, and I’m worried. I have an appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday to see how the new med is working. I’m going to tell her this is definitely bad.