I've been so good for awhile, why is it just now getting to me? Why do things go wrong when you suddenly feel your best? I really felt like things have changed, and nothing has. Over a month free of cuts, and what's it worth to anything? Nothing. It doesn't mean anything. So why bother anymore. I'm hurting so bad right now and I don't know what it is. Every piece of skin I feel, every movement I make I think of how I could hurt that little piece. Even when I blink I just think of the things I could do. It doesn't help that my dad is a target shooter, as am I. Way too trusting. Just hope he locks up his things tonite. We went out today. I should feel better from it, but no. I feel worse now than I have in a long time. Just don't know what to do anymore. I still feel like I'm going to cut anyway, so what a waste of a post. And I think this will be my last. I don't want to stay around here anymore. No offense to anyone. I'm sorry.