i have to stop reading...

sometimes i just feel overwhelmed with visuals... perceptions... ideals... different models of understanding...

it reverberates to a solid core one in the center... what if all of this isn't real anyway?
what if no-one that i believe to be speaking to here is real... what if this keyboard isn't real... what if "I'm" not real... who's to say what "real" is anyway..?

how can i perceive something to be real when i am labeling it myself... or having someone else label it for me and believing them...

what is perception anyway? who is this perceiving things anyway? if its not me? if im not real?

i dunno... im just tired and guess i have exhausted myself today and should stop pushing myself before i cause myself to trip...

maybe im just over looking the answers to my questions and really already know what i am seeking but am in denial... making up plausible deniability to continue a rabbit chase so that i dont have to face a dim reality

sorry to ramble, i dont usually talk about these things for good reason..