What qualities was it abour your supervisor that made you "look up to her?" You sure seem to have changed your opinion.

When you say "looked up to," I think it means - as you say - that you think you have found someone who can meet an emotional need of yours. You are looking to suck attention out of anyone you "look up to." That's not what heroes are for. When I'm around someone I "look up to," I try not to bother them . . . because I figure they have more important things to do than pay loads of attention to me.

I believe what you say in post #53 about you picking up normally on a lot of cues. The problem here is not your Asperger's.