Hello guys,

Could really do with some advice.

Me and my wife have separated, and this isn’t the first time. It first started when she got a new job and it changed her, she become arrogant and domineering and I wasn’t supportive of this job. Suddenly she’s decided to leave and move out in to a place with her friends from work. I guess she came back out of a guilt and it turned out she was having an emotional affair with a colleague which had led to some kissing, I tried to believe that it ended but she gave me every possible reason to believe it hadn’t so with in a few days she was gone again. She came round to collect some stuff and she said sorry and we ended up having unprotected sex. She still was adamant about leaving. 3 weeks later, I was finally accepting that she just didn’t want me and then she calls me, she was pregnant. Suddenly, she wanted to be with me and she called quits on that job pretty soon. Although we had unprotected sex, I didn’t know if the baby was mine because I couldn’t trust her to tell the truth. The pregnancy was hard and stressful with everything going on but we both supported each other and when our beautiful daughter was born, I loved her the second she Came out despite not knowing. Had my DNA test done and it confirmed I was the father.
Ever since then our relationship has been bipolar to say the least. I’ve been an absolute control freak due to the lack of trust and her reluctance to take responsibility for what happened. We had another break a year ago because I started to become very unstable and would say horrible things to her but through these times, we have some amazing memories. Recently things have come a head again (I know it sounds miserable but when things are good, they’re very good and when things are bad, they’re awful) and this time it seems permanent. I really don’t want it to be, and we had a recent conversation before it kicked off and she said nothing ever breaks us up and we could get through everything. This time though, she’s got herself a flat and my time with our two beautiful babies is being cut dramatically. There’s no denying I’ve been an awful husband with the things I’ve said which makes me cringe to think about but I think there is enough of the past me to get back to who I used to be before the EA happened, however I understand her need to leave at the minute. She’s so set in her mind that I’ve always been this terrible person always and can’t see any of the good qualities in our relationship. This time it feels like that’s it, I desperately want to be the husband I know I can be but at the minute she’s having none of it. She’s very cold, very bitter and none of this seems to be bothering her. I completely understand why she doesn’t want to be with as I am at the moment but do controlling people ever change?
Finally was able to have a semi decent conversation last night and she’s saying that even if I sort my issues with control and anger out it doesn’t mean we’ll get back together because she only feels sorry that the kids don’t have a full family and doesn’t miss me. My only glimmer of hope is that admittedly, I’ve been badgering her to speak about how we feel and she’s saying she’s 100% done (but she’s said this before). Also, at the moment she’s staying at her mums house where her sister and Mum live so she’s not really having to experience the loneliness,
when she’s in her new place on Saturday and providing I don’t keep hassling her do you think she will at least consider reconciliation?

Sorry for the ramble, just don’t know what to do.