You know? The one thing that I accept about my illness AND my personality, is this:
In spite of what I may do, I MUST incur the responsibility for my actions - no matter what! For how will I ever change?
Letting your husband's behaviours slide just because he is ill, only reinforces his illness-related behaviours and gives him permission to continue down that path of destruction, taking you and your child with him.
Let's look at PC as an example. When certain individuals get too out of control on-line, they are admonished for their behaviour(s), and if it continues, they are banned.
Can you imagine the havoc that would be PC if DocJohn did not have these standards?
In illness and in sanity, discipline teaches us to conform to the society in which we live.
We don't let mentally ill people just walk free because they were not in their "right mind" when they committed a crime, do we? So why should your husband get away with his abusive behaviour JUST BECAUSE HE IS ILL?
Quite frankly, it sounds as if he is just trying to convince you to keep him around. He knows what he did was wrong, otherwise he would not be grovelling to such an extent as he is. That is so classic of an abuser's M.O.
What makes this worse, is that you have a kid!!!! You are exposing your child over and over to something that will scar them for the rest of their precious life! And since you are accutely aware of the potential danger to both you and your child if you remained or returned to the same circumstances, I would consider you almost entirely responsible for anything that happens to you or your child from this point on. (sorry to be so harsh, but that is how strongly I feel about this subject!)
You don't love him, so leave. Do not stay because you feel guilty. Leave because you love your child, and hopefully, you love yourself enough as well.
I don't know how you can say he has been a good father - for look at what he is teaching your child! Look at what he has put you through. He was abused (which is sad); he is in turn, abusing you physically and emotionally (AND your child through emotional and mental abuse). Your child will begin to see this as normal and acceptable behaviour, and will continue this "family tradition," like celebrating a birthday is.
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He has said that he feels the only honorable thing to do would be to finish his degree, then turn around and help ME
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THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE
LAMEST EXCUSE I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!!!!!
The only way that statement can make sense, is as if he meant that he must help himself (including getting and holding a job), before he can fix things between the two of you. But that's not how I read it. It is not the degree that matters, it is how he changes his behaviours. In which context do you think he meant it?
I would also make sure visits with your child were supervised by someone other than yourself. His views and behaviours, if not controlled, can still infect your child's mind.
Anyway, it sounds as though you have already made up your mind. If you are looking for reassurance that you are doing the right thing by leaving, then:
YOU ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING!