I have worked out that my problem is I am attracted to beautiful, loving, confident, intelligent, well grounded, creative women - women I see as warm, stimulating and also loving and frankly could worship body and soul. Problem is they don't seem attracted to me and more often than not are already in relationships (partly because they are women who manage stable relationships). So they are always out of reach and unattainable.

The women that are attracted to me often see me a a good listener and intelligent but tend to be damaged themselves in some way so look to me to provide them with strength, even though I'm not really strong enough for them. Some realise that and get disappointed or turn against me, others tend to use me for their own needs. Unfortunately because I don't believe much in myself I tend to settle for relationships with women I'm not particularly attracted to or even can see that they could be damaging for me because of their needs. My marriage was like this, she made all the moves, I held her off for over a year but then she started a relationship with someone who was abusive to her so I thought I was helping her by giving into her and that eventually I may come to love her (I'm a bit of a rescuer). The irony is I did in the end and we had a child together (who I ended up bringing up on my own) but by then she had moved onto another, more edgy guy (she liked guys like that). I wasn't strong enough (or 'man enough' as she told me) for her.