That's a great question, SP. When I was on an SSRI I felt absolutely no emotion besides anger and frustration, then I was taken off that and put on lamictal where a wave of angst and fear was added to my emotional capacity. I read and learn out of angst. One of my biggest fears, what drove me to the university, was my fear of failure, of becoming a loser. So out of these basic, primitive emotions I try and repurpose them into just starting a task. If I can start the task then everything will flow from there I hope. That's the key for me is to start a task most of the time. I tried reading those Scottish books and I got frustrated and gave up of course. Philosophy is hard enough to read without a language barrier. I no longer have the need to express myself out of passion of course. I do it because I fear my fate was written in water.