That was sooooooo cool of you to do! I can relate with your mother on several levels, there. I'm so glad you were there for her even though she couldn't accept as much as you would've liked her to.

I'm really not bashing mom. I've come to understand and respect so much about her, and swore that I wouldn't make a "hate mom" thing when I made this post.

I see her now as an amazingly strong person, and I so wish I could be there for her more than I am.

Several months ago she found out she needed to have her gallbladder removed and put it off...even with a stone "flirting with her liver". She put it off so that daughter could do some better first.

It's just so hard. She's put it off for the right reasons in her mind, but then got more and more frustrated with me as things didn't ease up here.

She finally scheduled her surgery and it's just 10 days after my daughter's. She scheduled it before we even knew daughter had to have surgery.

She's made several comments lately like I can control what's going on here and should be doing more there. Only God knows how I would if I could. Well, now she's just angry and hurt and I understand it. I truly do. I don't blame her; I'd be kinda ticked at the world too.

She's gone ahead and made plans for everything and resenting that I've not done more than I have.

I then have her angry with my because I need help with my nephew for a few days through this surgery time. She thinks should be able to control that as well. I went into this surgery running on empty. I simply needed help with him.

A couple of days ago she really "let me have it", and it hurt...both of us wanting to be accepted by the other and have what the other couldn't give and it was hard. I understood where she's coming from while wishing she'd know that I would if I could. It was just hard.

At the same time, friends of my hubby called him to tell on me...how I wouldn't answer the phone for them and they needed me to come and fix their printer. So, I had to call them and apologize to them because of it and she gave me down the road for not answering the danged telephone! I wondered when I hung up just what the heck was I apologizing for and why would hubby want me to???

I pray daily that it works out that I have a full 24 hours with mom during and after her surgery.

It was just a bad day. I still want to "run away".

Thanks again, hon, and your family is very lucky to have you.

KD