Would it be very difficult for you to change your behavior?

No one likes to be talked about negatively. For most of us, since real early in life, that has been a strong motivator driving us to change how we act, so we get a positive - instead of a negative - response from those around us. You seem to be different. You don't like the disapproval, but something stronger is motivating you to stick with the old behavior. This isn't totally under your control. You're sticking with a pattern of behavior that is getting you a painful result. What makes you stick with it? It's not just that Asperger's makes you that way. You are sticking with something because somewhere, deep inside, you have a feeling that this is how you need to be to be true to yourself. That's my rough theory. I challenge you to think about this. People are mad at you because they think you could easily be different. I believe it isn't easy for you to just be different . . . but I don't know the force that drives you to stick with this way of being. You probably don't know either - right off the top of your head. But maybe you can come up with an idea about it.

People are frustrated that you don't just stop this behavior. You are frustrated because - I think - you can't just stop. What seems wrong to other people doesn't seem wrong to you. You're probably frustrated at people repeatedly telling you that you are wrong. So the pattern continues.

All the case managers in the world telling you to change isn't going to make you change one little bit. This is something you have to think out for yourself. Asperger's doesn't make a person stupid, which you obviously are not. Asperger's is a condition that has hit people of all different levels of intelligence - from dumb to genius. So I believe you have the capacity to think out a problem, if it interests you. That might be a suggestion of a direction for you to go in.

You show here that you can think. Mainly, though, you seem to be thinking about how to argue with what you are being told. Don't worry about what we think and about defending your point of view against other people's views. Challenge your own brain to really think about what keeps you in a pattern that leads to you being hurt and rejected. This coukd change your life.

You started this thread because you're not happy with what's going on in your life. No one is going to tell you that it is "wrong to look up to people." So why ask a question that you already know the answer to? Your mind needs to come up with a different question?

Sometimes the mind (yours, mine, anyone's) gets stuck in a whirlpool, going round and round, getting nowhere - like a little leaf caught between rocks in a stream. There is movement, but the leaf just shakes and wiggles around and goes nowhere. Don't let yourself be cheated by getting stuck in a whirlpool. You deserve a decent life as much as anyone else.