It sounds like she really helped you. I agree with Crazy Hitch. You said she said, "I was busy, sorry." I would take that at face value--she gave you an explanation (rather than blowing you totally off) and when she said sorry that shows that she still cares/is concerned about you. I am sorry you are going through withdrawal from her.

When your dad is giving you problems if you post about it here you will likely get a lot of support. We have many young people on this forum experiencing similiar problems. And if you read other posts and provide support, you will likely make some more online friends. Have you ever asked your parent(s) if you could see a counselor/therapist? They could help you with your panic attacks.

Also, when you are thinking about cutting yourself, maybe reach out to someone else here who is struggling with the same problem or post about it on the self harm forum? Since you are a young person with lots of potential, your goal is to heal your mental health issues and eventually get on with the real world (post less like your friend--it is a good distraction but if you are spending hours and hours online then it can interfere with your life). Of course, it is better to distract yourself and get support onlline than cutting or being depressed. If you are in crisis--it could be helpful to find support online until you get yourself straightened out.

Your friend probably still cares and helped you see what is wrong. It is healthier for you not to think of her constantly and talking to her less will help with this. An online friend can only do so much. I hope that she stays in touch. Please don't be angry at her (I don't know if you are) if she just checks in occassionally--hopefully, you both stay in touch occasionally.