I think this is an interesting debate, and I'm going to post it and see what people say about it (thanks cryingontheinside!)

anyway my point is, that when it comes to self care, do we do it out of motivation?, or, do we actually do it out of politeness.

example:

I would never, ever, go round a friends house, hair a mess, clothes all torn and smelling like a toxic river

I wouldn't expect that from the person I am visiting, so why should I do that?. it's like standards I think. you don't expect it from people, so why do it yourself

and I think the same can be said for cleaning the house

most days when i'm not actually doing anything or expecting anyone, because I live alone anyway, my house looks like world war 3

but when I am expecting company, you do it- you clean the house and make it nice for that person

maybe it's just me, but even in low motivation states, I believe the reason we do self care is out of politeness, and out of respect- not because we want to

hell, if I didn't have appointments to go too or things to do sometimes, i'd be quite happy living in a house that is never tidied, and looking like shrek's older sister

but you gotta show respect