Part of the curse of having PTSD is that feeling of guilt when we DO stand up for ourselves. It can be extremely triggering. But it's also growth. The first time I stood up for myself after working on it in therapy I almost literally crapped my pants. I had to flee to the bathroom and had an explosive case of the runs. Sorry to mention something so gross, but it illustrates how difficult the process is. The good news is I got better at it very quickly.