With me it's not that I wasn't allowed but that I had a mum who had mental health issues of her own and whenever things got stressful would threaten to kill herself, which was sometimes a daily event (although it was all empty threats, she's still alive). So not only did I have to learn to keep my mouth shut and be very careful not to upset her (which required a lot of self monitoring and also learning to read emotions and behaviour), and to walk on eggshells around her, but also when she did blow up I felt to blame and carried that for a long time.

She also thought she was dying of cancer so would tell us she wasn't going to be around for long (which I think was a combination of her own depression - it does feel like a cancer eating away at you inside - and her own mum dying young of cancer).

I was also scared of her and my main nightmare had her in it, as she was just unpredictable and would sometimes blow up angrily.