Shazerac,
Thank you for your reply. I think this anger is a part of what is making things so difficult. It is like I get so hurt when I feel abandoned/hurt and to add on it, I get angry at myself for being so petulant and selfish because I want others to fix it so I'm not in pain. I know I can talk to T about this and will, but it's kind of a downer to have to tell someone who is so helpful this information. And then I start questioning if this is only one of my thoughts that I am trying to fit into a problem, and that it really isn't real at all. I have so many invalidating layers it seems and I can't seem to find my way out. It's like I'm in a labyrinth and I'm trying to find my way out but can't figure out which pathways are valid and which ones will lead me nowhere. I feel like I am never going to find the end. And THEN, what is waiting for me at the finish line?