hey Sinking

I’m familiar with this dynamic, I also had no desire to connect with my mom, to let her into my world. Partly because I was doing things she would have disapproved of, and i didn’t know it then but now I do, I was mad at my mother and blamed her for taking my father away from me when I was a little kid.
I hated her for a long time not knowing why and I felt guilty about it, thanks to her professional grade guilt trips, I suppose it was the only way she could feel anything from me.
It still makes me mad to this day.
Anyway, Jennifer is right, there’s a reason for your aversion to your mother, so don’t feel guilty about your feelings, or lack thereof towards your mother, but do try to peg down why you guys are so disconnected.