Trigger -

For all the psychic anguish I endure, I'm in pretty good physical shape. I perhaps can only compare dreadful physical suffering to that of my father's, as he lay in sleepless extremis, moaning from the pain of a cancer that even powerful narcotics could not relieve.

I've hurt to no end emotionally and deeply, but never so badly that I could not take something to draw me into to painless sleep.

I'll trade my current suffering until the inevitable rolls around.