((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))) You give a lot on here. You definitely are not useless, and as others said, we cannot help certain things like allergies that may hold us back. Old tapes of mean words and actions can haunt us and make us believe that they are true. For any abusive statement made towards you, deny it's truth and validity by looking at who you truly are and how things really are. You are wonderful just as you are!