It's natural for you to be in this stage after the end of a long and complicated relationship. If I met someone who had recently divorced, I'd assume they'd be 'afraid to love' in the way you describe, possibly for many years.

I think Shazerac is right; you need to view this as a broken heart situation, with all that entails. Your mind might want to tackle the problem and change things and decide what to do next, but when it comes to affairs of the heart, that's rarely effective.

In my experience, letting some time pass is the only way.

Acceptance!

You are where you are.

It's fine to be honest about it with new people you meet. Women understand the 'afraid to love' man. In fact, it's quite attractive. So don't worry that you'll put people off by admitting it.

It's just a case of trying to feel OK in the meantime, until your heart can recover a little.

Good luck.