I did it. I left him.

I feel very sad and very self-destructive. Why is that always my go-to thing? "Feeling sad? Why not f*** yourself up, that'll help!"... I'm safe. It's just a feeling these days, mostly.

His hands were dirty from fixing his bike and he was wearing my favourite turquoise socks. His voice was kind of gravelly from a cold.

He said "I'm going to miss working with you" and I said "is that the same as saying you'll miss me?"... he said yes.

He said I could come back if I ever needed to.

He asked if I was seeing another therapist and if they were good for me... it was almost funny how much he sounded like a jealous (ex) boyfriend.

Okay, that's it, that's all I have to say for now.

It's done, it's over. I left.