Well, she sounds like an absolute delight!

(Sorry, again).

Every word makes sense. It's good that you're at the stage where you're seeing her clearly. It must be very painful.

Romantic love like that is often delusional. And what a shock when we wake up.

There's a poem that really struck a chord with me when I was going through this.

Mirage
The hope I dreamed of was a dream,
Was but a dream; and now I wake,
Exceeding comfortless, and worn, and old,
For a dream's sake.

I hang my harp upon a tree,
A weeping willow in a lake;
I hang my silent harp there, wrung and snapped
For a dream's sake.

Lie still, lie still, my breaking heart;
My silent heart, lie still and break:
Life, and the world, and mine own self, are changed
For a dream's sake.

by Christina Georgina Rossetti