I hear ya. It's definitely hard, no joke.

Sometimes I get through these spells by trying to imagine what I'll be thinking about life in 2, or 5, years with respect to the current time of today. I don't really know yet if life gets better or worse with bipolar, but usually I find that lots of negative things about right now usually aren't so negative in the future.

I hope that helps, with little support I can provide (I'm kinda new to this myself...).