Sister, I'm not suggesting a war against any person, especially not my T. I'm using this as an analogy to the civil war within me, the "demons" I am fighting within. I guess the misunderstanding came from my original post I wrote when I was hurt by my T? I would never even think about hurting him. He has told me, though, that our sessions are the safe place, the right place for me to express my anger, my confusion, my devastation. Since I do not know where all these intense feelings are coming from, I'm just trying to get the feelings out there. That's what I was trying to do in this post. When I am in pain, for some reason, I tend to use analogies about whatever situation (I think it's called sublimation?) The troops are representative of the strength I need to persevere, to continue fighting for a day when I have Peace. My goal was not to offend anyone.

Kiya,
I hear ya'! I also need some extra help to keep on going. I'm here for you!

Perna,
When I wrote that, I somehow knew that you would respond with your background in history Now come on, we all know that everything we are taught in history is the absolute truth (note the sarcasm Especially in VA. LOL I could make a list, and a long one at that, at the misinformation being taught.

I love my T. I know he is human. I know he can't cure me. That fantasy is gone and I know that now. When I idealize people, there is also a part of me (my T says its my Watchful Ego) that knows the truth, even if I don't feel it.