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I can see why people lose it and end up commiting s----de. I went to a therapist for the first time in years a couple of months ago and had a bad experience. And the 2nd time it was another bad psychiatrist siding with my mother. ( I made a thread about my mother self diagnosing me as having something I didn't have.)
Everytime I get into an argument with my sister she jokes about me killing myself with her friends on the phone. And that was my biggest fear. That if I told someone I wanted to die I'd be made fun of. Anything good I do is overlooked. I've been the only one taking care of this new cat we got, playing with her cleaning her litter box etc. But I've been blamed for even the cat throwing up or scratching up the couch.
I can't seem to keep a job because I end up not going. I can't stand being around people. I have AVPD and consistently feel like people hate me. I can't sell my artwork like I want to because I don't have social connections. I thought I could just sell the **** online and not have to make friends but that's not the case.
Life is hard AF for some of us and easy for others. I can't even see myself saving money to get even a car for myself because I've failed at a job. I want to escape without them knowing one day but I feel like a 17 year old in a 25 year old body. (People say I look kind of young too).
The universe is just against me. Strangers family members and co workers alike. Can I get some real genuine answers on here? I'm waiting for the world to end.
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