I'm in a bad state. All I can think of doing is to take another Vicodin. I need something to change how I feel. This is too bad.

I have dishes to do. I kept going to the sink to do a few at a time. That's all I could manage. I'm desperate to talk to someone, but I'm afraid. I worry I might lose my prescriotion to Vicodin, if I report being depressed. At one time a provider told me that I am not allowed to take more than one controlled substance. So I figure there's no point seeing a doctor about about this.

I have been really cracking up today. I appreciate any input.