They can't know that you've looked up photos on Facebook and even if they Could, it's their responsibility to check their privacy settings. Locking down your account is not difficult.

They don't sound very containing in the way they respond to your feelings. The more I think about it, the more I think that most of them are clueless and winging it when it comes to intense transference, even the more experienced ones. If you're seeing someone who hasn't even been in therapy themselves, I would run far far away because it's likely they don't be able to identify their own 'stuff.

Hugs to you, it's a sh1tty place to be.