Hey there! I'm also 25 but I look a lot younger, heh. I definitely understand what you mean about how some people have it easier than others. That's true, unfortunately.

I've also been through some difficult circumstances from very early on in my life and there were times if I wondered if death would be better. I sometimes believe on and off that the universe is against me and my mother (she's had it extremely hard to the point where my boss said my mom had bad luck). My whole family has, actually. We have only survived because of our determination. I know my negative circumstances and abuse have sort of given me motivation to work very hard so my adult life can be stable and a happy one, a life where I don't have to struggle and I actually feel safe. Don't get me wrong. There are many times where life gets me down and I wonder what is the point of even trying, especially when I see other people's easy lives. I get jealous. I think, "That's not fair, wtf?!" And when I feel like that, I literally just take some time to be depressed. I sit with my emotions and just try to feel them, since avoiding them had has made things so much worse for me. Feel the sadness, feel the anger, and then turn those things into motivation. We're at a very tricky time in out lives. I don't know what it was like for the other generation but I've noticed our generation isn't really having fun in our 20s because we're all so focused on becoming stable and having a job. I believe our 30s will be better, because by then we'll have this "being adult" thing on lock, you know? But for now, sadly, we have to struggle while keeping our head above water.

I'm not sure what you're asking, but I can definitely empathize. It's really hard out there when you've been given a crappy hand in life and it's even harder to turn that crappy hand into a good one, to turn it to your advantage. But the only thing we can do is keep trying to survive and not let the bad things win.

I know therapy and medication have helped me. You may not like the idea of either but without those two things, I don't think I'd be here right now. Definitely consider it. Your insurance may cover both therapy and medication, as I don't have to pay anything for both. So if you get a therapist you don't like, you haven't cost a thing and you can keep on looking.