It's not going well. Uncontrollable rage consumes all my time. Then I think I'm sad and not angry because I feel like crying but I never do. And people get on my nerves really really easily. I need something. I guess I need adrenaline. I just feel like **** all the time. I feel like I'm carrying so much around with me but I've lost everything. I always feel like crying. I'm not okay, I'm done. I'm trying to calm down but there's nothing I can do. I can't even play music. There's no capacity for beauty in me.