I'm so sorry to hear all this. The sliding down -- and knowing your sliding down is awful.

I'm not sure I have any useful advice. But you do have my sympathy. It sure sounds like you need someone to really talk to. I don't know, since I don't do groups well at all, but maybe some kind of local support group with others who understand?

Another thing is that since I live in a rural area, I applied to mental health services in both a local area and the closest metropolis which covers a wider area. I knew there would be bad waiting lists and not all centres are especially ...um... helpful. I ended up picking one of course. But my point is you may be eligible to try in more than one place if there are overlapping regions or some such. Just a thought.

And I'm with you on the sleep. I see more messages I wanted to look at, but my sleep discipline is an important part of my self-care. It's minutes to my appointed "must go to bed" hard limit. So I've just turned into a pumpkin.

I hope tomorrow brings you a little more strength.