I'm so sorry that you had to experience this. It sounds like it was very stressful and upsetting. I don't blame you for crying. You sound like you tried your best, which is commendable, especially because it sounds like everyone was against you except your boyfriend.

I have a few thoughts. Please don't think that I'm taking sides. I'm not. I'm just offering insight as a third-party. It sounds like your mom is partly just being protective of you. I know that my mother would give me a stern talking to if she experienced rude behavior from my boyfriend, regardless of whether there was a legitimate reason for his behavior. Especially if she didn't know him that well and this instance was a big part of what she had to go on in terms of forming an opinion about him and our relationship. It sounds like in this instance, he was stressed and it came out in a way that rubbed your mom the wrong way. But in her mind, she thought she was doing something kind and felt that his behavior was ungrateful. She didn't seem to realize that his behavior was a result of his stress with her constant questions, unwelcome planned birthday outing, etc. It all sounds like miscommunicated needs causing distress for all parties involved.

Next - Is moving out an option? Could you live at your boyfriend's house? Why can't you take the bird with you? The way you ended this post, it sounded like one of the main factors preventing you from moving out was your fear of change. I guess in that case, you are going to have to decide what's more unbearable - staying where you are or the fear of moving out and trying something new.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It can't be easy. And there is no easy fix either.