Hello everyone!
This is my first post here and I am not sure whether it is the right place…but I am looking for help and advices.I am so confused…I know my family will split very soon…
Let me describe in brief my whole turmoil and morass.
I have a son from my previous relationship.His bio-father has never been interested in his nurturing and upbringing.My first son was born in 1994.Five years later I met my present/and maybe soon-to-be-ex/ husband. We were married in June 1999, I got pregnant and gave a birth to my younger son in January 2000.My husband was present at the birth,and he was named on the birth certificate as the father of the child.That was not all…He left the college where he studied engineering because he wanted to take care of me,his son and his step-son…Even more-he wanted to adopt my older son and in this manner to make him equal to his biological child.He said it was unfair to the older boy not to be “a full part” of our family.The boy’s bio-father submited/with pleasure/ an affidavit that he did know the child,he did not wish to initiate a relationship with him and he relinquished his rights.The adoption was finalized in 2001.
Believe me or not- I was pretty sure that my husband was the bio-father of my younger child but I forgot one thing…I did not admit I had an unplanned sex with a friend of my cousin two,three or four days before I met my /to-be/husband.
I’d like to skip the facts where,when and why but my cousin’s friend initiated a paternity action. In our state it is admissible to be done any time./My cousin told him that his nephew-my younger son,has the same eyes color as his eyes…After that his friend checked his list for sexual intercources/!!!!/with dates,names …/
The court decision was: after factual findings the court adjudicated biological father as child’s legal father and directed of allocating parenting time, determined child support also ordered child’s last name to be changed and all parties to work with a psychologist to formulate a plan to integrate biological father into child’s life.The court rejected to apply de facto parent statute and it resulted in my husband being excluded from custody right.
Here the problems are:
My husband said it was humiliating for him to work for integration of the father,he felt I mislead him with my pregnancy to force him to adopt my older son…and left our home because he felt himself humiliated,hurted and embittered by dissapointments.
My older son call me slut and does not like to listen to me.
My younger son does not like to reciognize his biological father as a father.

Any advices?Help,please!!!


Some additional facts:
My husband has net the children many times after he left our home, I know he keeps in touch with my older son.
The bio-father of the younger child realized that he would be get accountable for retroactive child support and now he is willing to give his rights up.
Please for your excuse- I am so confused…