yes.. i am turning down oportunities to go out, not *because* of PC, but then that is where i go instead. Social is hard for me.. didn't used to be so bad. Making new friends over and overhas takena toll.

tulips, that makes me a little sad... i think you are as valuable as anyone else and when we've talked i've really enjoyed it... i got a lot from it. Now, i don't want you to fall into bad patterns either... but i am always happy to see you.

flower.. it isn't that i feel i would know too much about therapy itself per se... it's having a whole buffet of therapy scenarios to choose from. i am not a manipulative person by nature.... but i do know that in therapy some feelings have been very strong... unmet needs from my younger days.. it's overwhelming. i found myself thikning of ways to get T to do or say this or that because i wanted it... like a kid. i haven't acted on those.. i have tried to talk to him about what the need was, etc BUT when you have that array of choices of what people have said and done which got this rxn or that... i dont know that those strong feelings wouldn't push me.... does that makes sense? i dont think that i would ever deliberately choose to manipulate him... but the temptation is there for sure.

of course... my T did laugh once when i left him a message. asked him to not just say what i wanted to hear, and he chuckled in his message back to me said "you already know i wont just say what you want me to say."