I decided to not look for, not try, not make, not go on, and not accept any dates. I'd decided it was something I needed to do, just be me until I could conquer the loneliness on my own. I had been interested in a couple of women but decided I wasn't pursuing them because I'm not ready. I do take chances. Never dare me. Never.
Or so I thought.
I met someone through FB and I cannot believe how well we've clicked. Immediately. She's great and has illuded to dating after messaging one evening. She started the messaging again really early today. This wouldn't be a long distance thing, nor sexual of my own accord. She lives just a few miles away. She's already told me where she lives in this small town, what she drives, her work schedule, her favorite beverages (non-alcoholic), what she does for fun, that she wants to get back into the gym(awesome if you know my passion for the gym), and a lot of other info, even dipping into finding me attractive somehow and making a point of it twice. I don't like missed opportunities, so I'm going along with it, willingly and trying to be cautious. I told her that I'm still working through the crap from my ex, and she's ok with that.
Should I do this, knowing that I'm probably not ready?
I'm all for the "do it anyway" mentality on just about everything, because I long for new and meaningful experiences. Those can't be had if I don't try.
I've never been this nervous about anyone, even when I was 15, but I'm also not head over heels. I'm still outright scared, very.