To answer cunfuzzled: I can get the information if I want to. Sire had a "private" conversation with T once before, meaning he shut me out, but I sensed the missing information was...something important. And so I dug and dug until I pulled up the information he didn't want me to know. And wow. I deeply regretted doing that, because it was something I couldn't handle (of course! Or he would not have kept it from me) and the fallout basically messed me up and made me unable to handle life for a while. Now I don't dig, or try to recall things my alters carry that feel highly emotional, and that's the main difference. Before that particular incident I couldn't help myself, I just had to access everything. I have a couple alters that say they can shut me out pretty well, but mostly I see and remember everything they say, even though I can't exercise my will or discernment when they are in front. For the sake of my sanity I have had to learn to let the things they want to keep from me fade from my short term memory by keeping my thoughts on other things immediately after I'm in front again, rather than letting myself ponder what they said, did, or thought. If I'm motivated to do this then in a day or so I won't be able to remember more than the most basic details (like where they were and who they spoke to).