I'm new here and what I want to talk about is in the title - that the therapeutic relationship between my therapist and I is causing me pain. I have seen this therapist for 4 years now and she has helped me immensely. During the years she has self disclosed carefully about issues she has had that I have also. This was done with thought and care and was always relevant and helped me. The focus always remained on me as the client. It turns out we have a lot in common both in the life issues we have encountered and our personality types.

The issue is I have become attached to my therapist now and care about her a lot. I do not want to loose her from my life now. Last year when I was very upset over an issue that was happening in my life, she told me I had experienced enough loss and she would be staying in my life, and she called her self "auntie" and hugged me tightly. It felt good as that is the kind of role I see her in and was reassured that we could stay in contact after therapy was terminated. However when I went to terminate subsequently she told me that she cannot have any contact with former clients. That is understandable but why did she tell me differently and call herself auntie? Why the sudden change? She said she would stay. Now she says that she is staying and it is I that chooses to leave by terminating the relationship. This is a play on words to me as she said something very different previously. I trusted what she said and now I feel like I can't give up therapy even though I have worked through my issues with my employer which brought me there initially.

We have very similar taste in music, movies, shows, books. She is an important part of my support system and I am able to call and email her which is a big help to me. Last year a stray dog had puppies in her yard and she wanted to give me one. I feel like the relationship is moving into friendship at times and then it's being pulled back. Is this normal in the therapeutic relationship and how does everyone handle it and cope when it feels like I'll need bereavement therapy if I terminate.