i just feel automatically rejected most of the time, no one wants me - a broken individual that is just incapable of living to say the least

this is what i said:

currently i am trying to focus on my PTSD and getting all that better first and foremost

spending time studying different topics on my own hoping to get back into school so i can do something i really enjoy and find rewarding; philosophy, physics, theology, biology, mostly i guess but i just wonder around with the research where ever it takes me

thats what im doing with my life at this point.
how i make a living has been ****ed (for lack of better word) up due to the ptsd stuff so im staying with my dad which is absolutely driving me insane.
not working right now because my flashbacks and stuff are kinda bad which sucks because i don't want to live with him so bad

but i dont like talking about it much because it really makes me feel terrible..
i have complex-ptsd and stuff from child hood abuse and neglect and my current situation hurts my self esteem and self confidence so i never know how to approach it with others especially girls

but its something that takes work like many things and im for damn sure not going to let it ruin my entire life

hope that makes sense, but its understandably a scary thing that probably scares off all girls which is why i just dont know how to approach it anymore

anyway, if you would still like to talk that would be great; even if just as friends
im not a scary guy or anything.. just been through a lot of bad things that hurt me..