Short version: My parents were in denial, I couldn’t find help, fear of CPS being called (still afraid of this)

I was forced into therapy as a teen through the school. I was sure if I said anything I’d be taken from my family. So I sat silent week after week until the horrible T said my dad did something to me. I NOPED right out of there. I told my dad what she said and I was told I don’t have to go back. My dad was the only one I was close too. My mood swings were really bad I went from cutting to wearing club cloths, So my cuts often showed. I was sent to the school social worker. I still wouldn’t say much unless I was manic. He got use to picking me up in class when I was manic. He tried pushing my parents for me to see someone. It didn’t help I drank a lot both in and out of school and did drugs. He learned I was drinking and starving. He brought up the fact I may be an alcoholic which I found hilarious because I was manic. He never did bring up the starvation thing. Then I dropped out.I knew I had BP at 13 because my sister was dx. with it. I asked my first T to help that I need medication. She told me I was just a spoiled brat. My parents didn’t want to have me go to therapy because it didn’t help my sister

I went to GED classes. Immediately the teacher knew I had an ED. She chopped the mood swings to the eating disorder. She had the drug and alcohol therapist talk to me. That didn’t go well. Like admitting it would send me straight to the hospital. Shortly after that I went to college. Didn’t get help there.

We had our son and I was terrified to tell my dr about my depression because everyone said I’d be such a good mom. So I dealt with psychosis on my own. It’s not like it was my first time being psychotic. We moved and I wanted help with my eating disorder. I called tons of places but I wasn’t thin enough for help.

Later I tried to get help again or my husband was going to leave me. My GP thought he could handle me. I went into a rage and we stopped the meds. He wanted me IP and I said no. I got my way.

Then a second GP saw me when I was manic and put me on depakote and sent me to a pdoc. That was a **** show I ended up on a slew of different meds tons of changing Dx. It didn’t help that I thought she’d take my son away from me and if my husband was going to divorce me he could use my psych records.

Time past without help

I got help because I was paranoid my husband’s T was going to lock me up.

I’m still sceptical of pdoc’s and T’s wanting to lock me up and take my kid away.