Thanks, Cepheid. I don't expect anyone to tell me a lot . . . just for someone to understand that I don't have a lot of help and I'm in distress.

I hope your fatigue gets remedied by a good night's sleep.

Posting here is helping me keep track of my thinking.

I appreciate anyone feeling some empathy for me. It's not that I'm looking for guests to a pity party. I'm trying to come up with a plan that I can believe on.

I care for another person who is dependent on me. My S.O. relies on me. I had been glad to have that responsibility and took satisfaction in doing a good job of it. But, when I seriously decompensate, I have to still keep meeting his needs, or tell the powers that be that they have to make other arrangements for him. An announcement like that is a very big deal. I am desperate to pull myself together before I have to turn his care over. I already started a thread - days ago - saying I'm not keeping on top of my caregiver responsibilities all that good. Relinquishing his care by me would cause him to be moved to a nursing home. I don't want to disrupt his life and mine like that. When I'm my normal self, we are a family for each other and pretty content together. I tried to tell them at the psych hospital last night that for me to get incapacitated by bad depression creates a crisis for another human being. If I can normally do such a good job taking care of a very dependent man, I would hope that should earn me a little respect to have my plea for mental health support taken seriously.