I think that is what I was driving at - give your therapist enough credit to deal with whatever comes up. Perhaps you are hiding your fear of getting your needs recognized and even met - with your fear of being manipulative. What would it mean if you could manipulate things within your own therapy?

I guess I believe that what is important is how a person uses all the information that comes to him or her, no matter how and no matter about which subject. Some of us are in therapy because we use information in a way that works against what might be good for us.

I know you know all this, since I lurk a lot and read your posts. I'd also like to say that I'm impressed with how you continue to struggle against things. It will get better eventually, you just have to have faith.