For me, that's part of the point of therapy, to learn how to take better care of myself so I don't fall prey to the problems that brought me to therapy in the first place. The whole point of the therapeutic relationship is that it's almost exclusively about me and my growth. I don't have to try to take care of my therapist so that she will be able to take care of me (which is a dynamic from my past). She is helping me understand that it's not selfish to ask for what I need. And she's helping to put me in touch with what my needs are in the first place. I have to trust that she can take care of herself because there wouldn't be enough room for my emotional "stuff" if she hauled her life stressors and baggage in too. It would very quickly get way too complicated.

That said, I do care about my T, and I do express that care when it feels right to me. I talked to her on the phone today, and she mentioned toward the end of the call that she had a cold, so I told her that I hoped she felt better soon. Same thing for other life events that I only knew about because they disrupted therapy appointments (e.g. her needing to care for an injured family member). But I think the difference is that I express my sympathy or concern, she thanks me for caring or inquiring or whatever, and then we move on to my therapy things. She can unpack her feelings or get deeper comfort or understanding from her family/friends or her own therapist because, again, the time we spend together is supposed to be mostly about me.

It sounds like you're a little overwhelmed by knowing things about your T's struggles without being in a position to properly comfort or support him. Maybe it would help you be less preoccupied with your T's feelings if you asked him to hold back some of the personal information. Then you could focus more on what it was that brought you to therapy in the first place.