i agree with people - 35 miles is way too far to walk, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea to sit there and accept that your situation is hopeless. it kind of sounds like a part of you/your depression is looking for confirmation that your situation is indeed hopeless, which gives you permission to give up hope. I know it's difficult to have hope, but a lot of the time nobody is going to come in and give you hope - you might have to take a small action like, as people have said, contacting a social worker or reaching out to the online facilitator of your class. good luck x