Please do tell the nurse Rose. You need some help and support. Please keep posting so we can provide some comfort and understanding. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels to be sliding down and to know you’re sliding down. I empathize. Please reconsider going to see a PCP or back to that clinic and let them know suicide has crossed your mind. That’s not a threat on your part...just letting them know how deep this is. Thinking of you.