No one can stay in the same place; it takes work to get well or not get well. One's body/self is working to "survive" and that takes work, whether we're consciously part of it or not. I gained a lot of weight in order to function socially (because of my anxiety, difficult for me) for example. My body did all that without "Me" consciously saying yes or no. When we are "stimulated" we respond, intuitively.

I do not believe one can deliberately stay in one's illness unless one "decides" to in some way because the illness/symptom/whatever is helpful to one. My gross obesity is not something my head or heart wants but my body did the best it could to help me function (and did a wonderful, creative, imaginative job of it!). None of us are "simple" and there's lots of issues, not all of which we're even aware of, that have to be constantly weighed and adjusted to end up with what we've got.

"Attacking" one's self, deciding one's head or heart or body or whatever is wrong, bad, not helpful, causing us trouble, etc. is, to me, a subtle form of self-abuse. One cannot be against one's self! Whatever one is doing is "for" one's self, for one's survival. It might seem misguided or a bad idea (my overweight is a health hazard but it bought me time to solve my mental/emotional/heart problems) to another part of us but it's like a person with DID's alters; they're all needed by that person.

Turning from attack of body (I'm fat and ugly) or head (I'm stupid, I'll never get a job/life), or heart (I'm a loser, no one could possibly like much less love me) to facing outward and trusting; yea verily, relying on one's body, head, and heart to help one is the route I am trying to go.

But, there are some people who get "enough" of what they want that they don't see any reason to work at doing things some other way. That doesn't mean they don't want more (who doesn't :-) but just that the "seesaw" is balanced enough so they're not in enough "pain" or have enough interest in doing things differently.

Nowhere, I can only ever take care of myself. Another adult using a third adult is beyond my purview :-) What I "see" happening to other people may or may not be what is actually happening and/or they may be kinky and like what's happening :-) I don't know. But merely complaining about being used (and not working or making an effort to stop it if you are the person complaining) doesn't galvanize me into action. It's not "okay" necessarily, meaning I don't like seeing it, but if the person being used is an adult out in the general society, I probably won't say/do anything.