Do I ever not

Sometimes it's intentional because I just don't have the energy to go there. But most of the time it's because I can't communicate how bad things are. Even speaking about it in moderate terms feels as though I'm shouting from a mountaintop. When I say "I haven't been feeling all that well" it usually translates to "I'm actively making a plan." This is something I really ought to speak to T about but simply haven't.